Or As We Say In Ancient Egyptian: KanipKanip
by lawnmowerelf
Summary: Sam has seriously bad luck with possessions.


Or As We Say In Ancient Egyptian: Kanip-Kanip

Sam was laughing. Well, all right, he wasn't actually laughing but only because he wasn't currently in control of his body. But he was laughing a lot on the inside, which even he had to admit was a really strange reaction to being possessed. Of course, this wasn't exactly a normal possession, and boy did he hate the fact that he knew without even thinking about it what was included in a normal possession from personal experience.

Intimate personal experience.

He had no idea just what the cause was, but for some reason the snake demon that had possessed him was having some serious problems. He had been able to feel it trying to invade his mind from the moment it jumped into his mouth, but so far it had been completely unsuccessful. And it wasn't shy in letting him know just how upset that little fact made it, either.

"I am a goddess, and I will not be thwarted by such a pathetic, vile pain in the mik'ta Tau'ri such as you! I do not know what sort of technology you possess that keeps me from your mind, but I will discover your secret and when I do, I will show you pain and suffering the likes of which you are not even capable of imagining."

Of course, the experience would be much less unpleasant if the snake demon didn't seem to like to hear itself talk quite so much. The constant posturing was starting to get just a bit annoying. Of course, it was a demon, so Sam supposed that the posturing was par for the course. Though Sam really wasn't looking forward to Dean's jokes once he found out that Sam was possessed by a so-called goddess. Because that part was just embarrassing, and Dean was physically incapable of letting the fact that Sam was possessed by a girl slide.

Especially since this wasn't the first time. Or even the second.

It was still incredibly strange to feel his body moving without any say-so from him, but Sam thought he was beginning to get used to it. Which was good since it meant that Sam could pay more attention to what the demon was planning and less on instinctively and futilely trying to control his own body. But even after scrutinizing every single thing that the demon was doing Sam still had no idea of what it's actual plan was, or if there was one at all.

Currently, the snake demon was using Sam's body to try to lure a pretty redhead out of the bar and back to the hotel room it had rented. Luckily for the girl, the demon was doing a very poor job. In fact, the demon really sucked at getting girls, and this was with Sam's body as an asset. It was really kind of sad, even for a demon.

Sam's attention was pulled back to his surroundings when the snake demon began silently cursing and trying even harder to push its way into his mind. And when Sam finally focused on what he was seeing, he realized just what had pushed the demon into a panic.

Dean was sitting on the barstool next to him, one arm thrown around Sam's shoulders and a grin on his face that anyone else would think was sincere. He was asking Sam where he'd been and why he'd run off, but it was blatantly obvious to Sam that Dean was just trying to keep up appearances and make sure that whatever was in control of Sam's body didn't realize that Dean was on to it.

While Dean's plan was blatantly obvious to Sam, the snake demon had no clue that anything was wrong, though it was cursing up a storm in Sam's head. In Sam's opinion, the snake demon's growing frustration at it's inability to get anything from Sam's mind was absolutely hilarious. In fact, it was really the only part of the entire possession thing that was funny.

Dean managed to convince the demon to leave the bar with him, and the moment they were at the mouth of the alley outside Sam mentally braced himself for the blow that he knew was coming. An instant later, Dean's fist made violent contact with the back of his head and Sam and the demon were plunged into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Sam returned to consciousness he couldn't feel the odd pressure against his mind, though he could somehow tell that the snake demon was still inside him. He was tied up; his hands secured behind his back and his ankles tied together. And he was lying facedown in the backseat of the Impala.

He felt the snake demon waking up and pushed aside the pain in his head in order to try to warn Dean.

"Dean, there's some sort of snake demon in my head, and it's...."

Before Sam could finish the sentence the demon took control of his body, sending a sharp spike of pain into his head as a warning. It used Sam's face to glare up at Dean, spitting what could only be curses in some language that Sam had never heard before finally switching back to English.

"Release me at once, or be prepared to suffer unimaginable torment until you die, at which point I shall begin to torture you again."

Dean snorted, reaching back to pat Sam's head. "If I'm dead, how are you gonna torture me, huh? You're not making a whole lot of sense there, demon guy. That's your problem, you know. You didn't think this whole thing out, and now I'm gonna have to exorcise your snakey ass. And I hate doing exorcisms. My tongue just doesn't like to twist around all that Latin. But since you're in Sammy I don't have any choice, and that just makes me cranky."

If Sam had been in control of his body he would have snorted at that. Cranky was a bit of an understatement. As it was, the snake demon snapped Sam's teeth at Dean's fingers before starting up it's ranting yet again.

Sam mentally rolled his eyes, deciding to try to translate the foreign words into English to pass the time until the exorcism. It would be nice to have some new names to call Dean the next time they had a fight. Especially since Dean wouldn't know what any of the words meant.

He only started paying attention to his surroundings a few hours later when he felt the car stop. He still didn't have any control over his body and couldn't look around, but from the noises they were at Bobby's. Apparently Dean had decided to let Bobby do the exorcism instead. Which meant that he'd be getting rid of his unwanted passenger soon.

Good. He was getting tired of the constant babble, even if he was learning all kinds of new things. Like torture techniques, and lots of new curse words.

The snake demon transferred its threats to Bobby when the older man appeared to help Dean carry Sam out of the car. Bobby just shook his head and snorted. "You boys get into some of the craziest trouble, don't you? You ever think about having some nice, boring problems sometime?"

"You telling me I should be boring, Bobby?"

Sam tuned the rest of the argument out. He didn't even notice that Bobby had begun the exorcism until the snake demon started raving even louder than normal, promising death and destruction on those who would dare try to harm her. He winced at that last bit; there would be no hiding the fact that he'd been possessed by a girl again from Dean.

Damn.

Eventually the demon lost, screaming in Sam's mind in agony as it died. "Ow. That was less than fun." Sam tried to reach up to rub his suddenly aching head, but came up short when he realized that his hands were still tied behind him. "Dean, a little help here, please?"

Dean grinned as he started to untie him. "So, Sammy. What is it with you and the girl demons? I can't take my eye off you for a minute."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean, anyone ever tell you that you're a pain in the mik'ta?"

"What?" Dean frowned at him. "What are you talking about, Sam?"

Sam smiled. Yep, the new vocabulary just might come in handy.


End file.
